Love is not blind, it's in denial
by W-IIV
Summary: Hannah England is in big denial about her crush on Amanda, even when it was extremely obvious.


**A/N On tumblr there was a post about Amanda wearing glasses and Hannah reacting to it so I decided to write a small scene about it. As well as to include some things that were shared in a discord server about Hannah being in denial about her crush on Amanda even though its so blatantly obvious lmao. Enjoy!**

* * *

Amanda, Amanda, Amanda.

Everywhere Hannah goes it's that same name over and over again. Repeating again and again like a pop love song on the radio, the kind that is played everywhere and will be played at any time with or without request. The worst bit about those kinds of songs was that it was good to some extent. It was the kind that lingered and became stuck in your head even when you no longer listened to the radio.

It irritated Hannah that Amanda's name was that love song stuck in her head. Making her all sappy and distracted doing menial things, making it hard to focus during her classes. Oh, how she hated it. She hated how her daydreams of an ambiguous but happy life with a partner now has a name and face to it, she hated how _easy_ it was to fall back thinking about her after she finally stopped for a moment.

She hated Amanda's gorgeous green eyes and the lazy but playful smirk on her lips. Where every time Hannah closed her eyes at night it's those she sees kissing. She hated the way she laughed, infectious and dizzying like a roller coaster ride, her voice booming and her presence clear. The way she combs through her hair, teasing just enough of the Appleton look Hannah first fell for, where every time Hannah caught the possibility, her heart imploded at the sight.

Hannah really hated Amanda O'Neill. She would tell Barbara about this all the time, insisting that this hatred, this mess of emotions that made her heart race to the speed of the butterfly hurricane in her stomach, was the real deal. That it wasn't this large brick wall of denial that Barbara kept telling her. Or even worse, that she had a crush on Amanda. Sure Amanda was really good looking, funny and surprisingly kind when Hannah was feeling insecure about herself. Sure Hannah kept thinking about her and talked about her a lot and kept trying to find ways to spend time with her but that didn't mean anything when all of those things were focused on annoying Amanda or being annoyed at her!

Amanda was the one thing Hannah hated in the entire school- And that's a fact!

At least that was until Hannah found herself in a library of girls talking about Amanda for some sudden random reason.

Sure Hannah hated how common Amanda's name kept being whispered in her head but the hate could never amount to the absolute loathing she had for all of her school peers. Here they were, in a place meant for peace and solitude, in huddled groups full of hushed talk and giggling.

And every now again there was the mention of Amanda in those fragmented sentences she could barely capture. And every time, Hannah's patience began to thin, her fists gripping her pencil tightly.

 _Did you see Amanda's..._

 _Amanda looks so hot in..._

 _Wait- Amanda has..._

 _I'm so gay for Amanda guys._

The last sentence made Hannah take a harsh inhale to calm herself and force her head down to the table to control her temper.

The chorused sounds of mutual agreement that followed is what made her pencil shatter in her grip.

"What's wrong Han?" Barbara asked, barely looking up from her work, completely unbothered by her friend's emotionally driven actions. "Can't concentrate with your jealousy?"

Hannah shook her head, ignoring the last comment and assuming that she misheard it under all of her frustration and anger. She lifted her head, took one long tired sigh and looked at Barbara with a grumble. "The better question is, how can _you_ concentrate when there are constant flies everywhere, muttering and giggling about Amanda?"

"Well," Barbara started with a teasing smile and a glint in her turquoise eyes when Hannah caught her attention. "You get used to it after your best friend and roommate becomes an Amanda fan girl talking about her non-stop."

The fact that they were in a library was the only deterrent to Hannah slamming her hands on the table and lean over to Barbara with a horrified gasp and shout. So instead, Hannah's head shot up with a glare and angry words left her lips with a hiss. "How dare you, Barbara. I thought you knew me better to compare me to those lowlifes. I'm nothing like them!"

Barbara sighed like she was told to do the same if not very similar homework for the third time in a row within a week. "Hannah you still have a shirt that she leant you 3 weeks ago."

"So?" Hannah scoffed, suddenly finding her neck uncomfortable in her uniform and tugged the neck collar a bit. "It's comfy." Hannah then scowled, crossed her arms and looked elsewhere to the room. "And I hate to admit it... but she has a somewhat decent taste in fashion.

"Of course you would hate to admit it," Barbara murmured with a laugh. She looked up with a smirk just as Hannah turned her attention back to her. "Just as much as you hate to admit that you kept her Appleton photo instead of tearing apart when you told Akko."

Barbara's callback to that private thing in her collection made Hannah's face flush, embarrassment overloading her system as her tongue began to falter and be as knotted as her insides. "Well," Hannah began, words still fumbling out of her mouth in an uncouth fast manner. "I had to keep it, what's the likelihood of me having another one?"

"It's the same percentage of me waking up to you having a teddy bear called Amanda hugging her in your sleep," Barbara answered without a second to pause. The grin on her face only expanded as the shade of red on Hannah's face darkened. "So very very likely."

"The nerve!" Hannah gasped, not even giving her best friend any more attention as she looked again elsewhere. "Squire Neill has more class and character than that idiot ever will!"

" _Squire Neill_ ," Barbara laughed as she began to pack away her and Hannah's stuff. "Shares the same name and fur colour as your knightly crush and her eyes." The fact that Hannah could do nothing but stammer and stutter made it hard for Barbara not to burst out laughing.

"R-R-Regardless! I'm still better than those bandwagons!"

"Well, what makes you different from them?"

"Well I for one," Hannah declared smugly, pressing a hand to her chest, her chin and head up. "Actually know her and talked to her on a daily basis."

"Oh _really?_ " Barbara countered, the tone shutting down Hannah's pride as she looked curiously at her best friend and her smirking eyes. "Then why is it that you don't know what's going on and they do?"

There were exactly thirty seconds of silence before Hannah bolted from the scene, screaming for Amanda's name and her where about. Barbara followed behind her, laughing into her school book that held her hidden nightfall book. "Y'know when I wanted my life to be like a fanfic, I didn't expect to be like this," she said to no one in particular before she jogged to catch up with her best friend.

* * *

Hannah England was on a rampage. She tore through the hallways, walking swiftly in a fast-paced manner, her heels clattering in an organised fashion. She had half a mind to run but she knew it would be considered uncouth and wild of her to do so. So here she was, just fast walking all the way up to the third floor of the east wing. Right where the centre of her troubles would be.

To her surprise, she didn't find Amanda where she thought she normally would be in a weather like this. The sun was out, there was a soothing gentle breeze, there was a perfect opportunity for her to be lazing out in a tree for an afternoon nap. So what was supposed to be an easy find quickly became a winding afternoon chase, constantly asking people if she has seen Amanda and where? Sometimes she would get questions back like _why are you looking for Amanda? Or ooooo do you have a crush on her now Hannah?_

Those and other questions Hannah hastily exited without answering, both to avoid and ignore the rising heat on her cheeks. Most times, however, there were squeals and shrills of gay delight and _so many_ close calls where her peers would have explained the sudden influx of Amanda O'Neill Appreciation but hastily stopped when they realised that she wasn't in on the inside joke. Needless to say, it was infuriating and by the time Hannah reached the top of the stairs, she was ready to lash out what Amanda deserved.

"Amanda!" Hannah called as she banged the green team dorm room. "Amanda open up! You got a lot of explaining to do!" She paused for a sound, for a familiar swear or a shuffling of feet. She heard nothing.

"AMANDA!" Hannah yelled, louder this time and enough that Akko's team could probably hear her from the other end of the corridor. Hannah didn't care though, she needed to understand why half of the school decided to bandwagon this Amanda O'Neill appreciation. Hannah was tempted to bang the door again but thankfully, she heard the door click open. The sound was enough to pacify Hannah enough to create a huff of annoyance as she crossed her arms.

"Finally," Hannah started as she looked up at Amanda with a harsh narrowing glare. "Now ex- explai, explain..." Whatever emotions or words Hannah was meant to convey died in that span of a second. They died from the lack of air in her lungs, drowned from the overwhelming sea of emotions inside of or from the intense heat scorching her face as she outright gawked at Amanda.

She was pretty sure that her jaw dropped, mouth wide open as terrible recording scratching attempts of communication left her lips. Had she have any brain cells left in the post short-circuiting state she was in, Hannah would slap herself for acting like a right utter fool. Then she would scream at Amanda cause HOW IS SHE ALLOWED TO EVEN LOOK LIKE THAT?

Amanda O'Neill, to the surprise of her and basically everyone else in the school, wore glasses. Cute rectangular framed glasses with large black ends tucked behind her ears to hold it steady and to frame her beautiful green eyes better. Why in the nine's name did she not wear them more often was the second most mysterious of questions in Hannah's head. The first one naturally, was WHY in Jennifer's name was she not putting her hair up like that more often?

Amanda had her hair up, but not in the Appleton way Hannah expected, no this was even better. Amanda tied most of her bangs up to create a small ponytail at the back of her head. Only her front bangs were left unscathed, which only just helped frame her beautiful glasses and face even more. The entirety of it all made Amanda look more casual, domestic even. With that hairstyle alone, most of Hannah's hay-wired head jump shipped to the future where she could picture Amanda in an overused hoodie in the kitchen one lazy morning.

In this daydream, Hannah was making breakfast and laughed in fake surprise to see Amanda up this early. In this daydream Amanda would chuckle, laughter teeming with endearment as she walked closer before she wrapped her arms around Hannah's waist and nuzzled kisses into her neck. Whispering something extremely corny or cheesy about missing her even when they live together and that would make her giggle and instinctively turn off the stove just in case the kiss she gave to Amanda got out of hand, again.

By the time Hannah snapped out of that trance, Amanda was right in front of her, head lowered to her level. Hannah was vaguely aware of Amanda's hand on her shoulder, gently shaking it with extreme levels of concerned care. She was more enraptured with the worried look in Amanda's eyes, the depths of care expressed in her furrowed brow and questioning lips. This close to her face, where Amanda's breath kissed her lips, Hannah noticed the near invisible sweat drop on Amanda's cheek.

It was the last thing Hannah saw right before she fainted. An act that came the second, Amanda whispered her name.

* * *

"Took you long enough to wake up," Barbara grinned as Hannah stirred awake, grumbling as a response to both being awake and to Barbara. "I figured something went wrong and I had to get your knight in scratched up glasses to kiss you better."

"Ugh," Hannah sighed, using one hand to cover her blushing face as memories of what happened prior to her blacking out slammed into her head like a bus. "I hate her," Hannah growled, a statement that went nowhere considering how badly she was blushing.

"Oh dear, I think we need Amanda's help," Barbara giggled, her laughter shifting to a cackle as Hannah glared at her.

"Don't you dare Barbara," Hannah warned as she lifted up her pillow.

Barbara smirked, "After all, This is a serious case of crush denial!" The slam of the cushion against her face to muffle her teasing and cackling laughter was worth it.


End file.
